Talking to Kids About Food and Body Image

Dr Liz White | Consultant Clinical Psychologist

4 min read

It can be tough talking to your kids about food and body image, especially in today’s social media comparison-driven and AI enhanced world. It seems you can't go very long before another news item highlights an alarming new diet trend.

Alarmingly, Dove’s The Real State of Beauty (2024) report, which surveyed 33,000 people across 20 countries, found that globally, 2 in 5 young girls feel pressured to alter their appearance based on images of influencers they see on social media, and 74% of boys aged 10-17 years old agreed to the statement “I feel I am not muscular enough”.

In episode 53 of the Hello Therapy Podcast: Body Image, Food Narratives and Eating Disorders in Kids, Dr Anna Colton, a Clinical Psychologist and eating disorder specialist, shares expert tips for fostering healthy attitudes around food and body image. This blog summarises the key themes from this important conversation:

How to respond when your child says the F word (Fat)
How to avoid unhelpful messages around food and body image
Tips for encouraging healthy eating
How to spot the signs of eating disorders

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How to respond when your child says the F word (FAT)

One core theme discussed is the critical importance of how we, as parents, respond when our child expresses concerns regarding their bodies or eating habits. When a child expresses that they “feel fat”, we can often feel the automatic urge to reassure them with comments like "You're perfect as you are." or “no you’re not!”. While well-meaning, such responses may inadvertently shut down communication. So here are some tips if you are navigating this particular conversation:

Key Tips:

Be curious: Ask your child why they feel that way. "What do you mean by that?" or "Has someone said something?"
Avoid immediate reassurances: Try not to jump to statements like "No, darling, you're beautiful." as this can shut the conversation down.
Label emotions: Acknowledge and explore your child’s feelings. For example, "It seems like you're upset about this."
Stay neutral: Explain that ‘fat’ is just a descriptor, like tall or short.

Avoiding Unhelpful Messages

The language parents use around food and body image matters immensely, but bear in mind it is easy to inadvertently reinforce harmful messages about dieting or body appearance. Many Gen X and millennial parents have grown up around these harmful messages from their own family of origin, media and diet culture in the 80s and 90s. It can be helpful to first reflect on your upbringing and its influence on your views about food and body image. Being aware of these influences allows you to make conscious choices in guiding your own children.

As an example, you may have been brought up to think about food as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but this can set up unhelpful and rigid rules around food as well as discounting the fact that our bodies need a range of nutrients from a broad spectrum of different foods. Rather than labelling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ Dr Colton suggests being ‘food neutral’, wherein all foods are acknowledged for their nutritional contributions. By eliminating the emotional weight associated with food, parents can help children develop a healthy, balanced relationship with eating. Introducing food science concepts can also make meals fun and educational, thereby transforming the dining experience into an opportunity for learning rather than a battleground over what to eat.

Hello Therapy Podcast Episode #53

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Key Tips:

Reflect on your upbringing: Do you have beliefs and rules around food and body image that are unhelpful or might be promoting an unhealthy focus on weight or appearance?
Food Neutrality: Stop labelling foods as "good" or "bad." Use their names and discuss their properties.
Role Modelling: Children absorb messages from your comments and actions. Try to ensure your attitudes towards food are neutral and factual.

Tips For Encouraging Healthy Eating Habits

There are many different ways to encourage healthy eating habits in children and teens:

Encourage children to listen to their bodies, recognizing hunger and fullness cues, without rushing to correct or control their choices.
Involve children in fun, factual learning about food's nutritional benefits, such as how different fruits and vegetables support various bodily functions.
Involve your child in meal preparation and us that as an opportunity to teach them about food for example, washing red cabbage to see it change colours.
Have healthy snacking options readily available like a ‘veg box’ in the fridge with pre-cut different vegetables alongside a choice of dips.

Spotting the Signs of Eating Disorders

According to data from The Children's Commissioner, eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia and binge eating are on the rise and disproportionately impact young people below the age of 25, so recognizing the signs of eating disorders early is even more crucial than ever. Here are our top tips for spotting the signs of eating disorders in children and teens

Key Tips:

Behavioural changes: Look out for skipping meals, significant weight changes, or going to the bathroom immediately after meals.
Attitudes towards food: Be cautious if your child becomes anxious or distressed around food or mealtimes, or starts labelling foods negatively.
Seek professional help early: Don’t wait until you're sure of a problem. Early intervention and support can be crucial.

Takeaways

Creating an environment for your child that is conducive to nurturing healthy attitudes towards food and body image is possible. Talking to kids about food and body image requires curiosity and open conversations rather than quick reassurances. Avoid labelling foods as “good” or “bad” and encourage a balanced, intuitive approach to eating. Model a healthy attitude, make food fun and educational, and stay alert to early signs of eating disorders for timely support.