Keeping Love Alive Once Baby Arrives
How to Maintain Connection and Communication Amidst the Challenges of Raising Children
The arrival of a new baby ushers in one of the most profound changes a couple can experience.
In fact, research by the Gottman Institute shows that the transition to parenthood leads to a 67% decrease in relationship satisfaction for both men and women. This staggering statistic shows how navigating this transition while maintaining a strong relationship can be challenging.
In episode #54 of the Hello Therapy podcast, From Couple to Co-Parents -Tips for Staying Connected After Children we sat down with Dr. Naomi Gibson, a clinical psychologist specializing in the perinatal period, to discuss how couples' relationships change when they have a baby and to offer strategies to stay connected during this transformative time.
This blog explores the main themes of that conversation:
Transition to Parenthood: A New Chapter
Sleep Deprivation and Shifts in Communication
The Importance of Support Systems
How To Reconnect with Your Partner After Having a Baby
🎧Listen to the full episode here👇
Transition to Parenthood: A New Chapter
The transition to parenthood is one of the most profound shifts a couple can experience. Daily routines that once included work, hobbies, personal time and spending time together as a couple are quickly replaced with round the clock baby care, requiring a complete renegotiation of roles and responsibilities. This sudden change in dynamics can challenge even the strongest relationships, making open communication and adaptability essential for maintaining connection and balance during this new chapter of a couple’s journey together.
Sleep Deprivation and Shifts in Communication
Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest hurdles new parents face, and it can take a serious toll on communication and emotional connection. As exhaustion sets in, partners may struggle to acknowledge each other’s needs, leading to frustration and feelings of neglect. When conversations revolve solely around baby care and logistics, couples may find their relationship shifting into autopilot - a stream of endless nappies, bath time and feeding - increasing the risk of disconnection and resentment. Recognizing this dynamic and finding small ways to reconnect—like sharing gratitude, engaging in non-baby-related conversations, and making time for physical affection—can help strengthen the relationship during this demanding phase.
Watch an exclusive, unpublished extract of this episode 👇
The Importance of Support Systems
Strong support systems play a vital role in easing the transition to parenthood. However, it’s crucial to choose who provides support carefully. It can be helpful to discuss with your partner who feels most supportive and how they can help before the baby arrives, and this doesn't always have to be your own parents or in laws - friends or siblings can sometimes provide more effective or emotionally supportive help.
Accepting assistance—without guilt or hesitation—can significantly ease the challenges of early parenthood. It is important to reach out, even when it feels difficult, as having a reliable support network can make a meaningful difference in maintaining both emotional well-being and a strong relationship.
How To Reconnect with Your Partner After Having a Baby
Feeling disconnected as a couple is a common challenge in the early years of parenthood, but rebuilding intimacy doesn’t always require grand gestures.
Sometimes we think you need some grand gesture or date night, but often it starts with really small things - Dr Naomi
Small acts of appreciation and daily check-ins can go a long way in reducing resentment and strengthening emotional connection. Prioritizing these simple yet meaningful habits helps nurture the relationship, even in the midst of sleepless nights and hectic schedules. To maintain a connection, couples can incorporate small habits and routines such as:
Daily Acknowledgments: Greeting each other warmly and showing appreciation can transform the daily routine.
Shared Activities: Cooking together or taking walks can facilitate meaningful conversations
Intimacy Maintenance: Prioritizing moments of physical affection and intimacy as they feel comfortable.
For more practical ideas on how to connect with your partner
after having a child, grab our guide with 50 practical ideas on how to
reconnect with your partner
50 Micro Moments of Connection Guide
Takeaways
Adjusting to parenthood is a major shift, but recognizing these changes as natural can make them feel less overwhelming. By prioritizing small but meaningful habits, open communication, and seeking the right support, couples can maintain a loving and connected relationship—turning the challenges of parenthood into opportunities for growth and deeper intimacy.
Join the Hello Therapy Substack Community!
Subscribe for free to receive a monthly roundup of Hello Therapy podcast episodes, plus a personal reflection from your host, Dr. Liz White.
Want more?
Upgrade to a paid membership for exclusive access to video recordings, bonus mini-episodes, Q&As with Dr Liz, and a private subscriber chat.
Comentarios